Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Good Days and Bad Days

While struggling through depression all these years, I have good days and bad days...today was an "in-between" day.  I had times I felt like crying for no apparent reason other than my mind constantly reminds me that I'm a complete failure.

It's hard to face the fact that I have no marketable skills, no self-confidence, and no experience in anything.  What kind of future could I possibly create for myself?  As I peruse the help wanted ads, I realize I'm not suited for any job available for one reason or another.  First, I don't have the necessary education or experience.  More than that though, I'm not that great with people.  I prefer "behind the scenes" kind of work because I'm shy and don't like talking to people I don't know, but there aren't any jobs like that.

So how am I supposed to help create a financially secure future for myself and my husband?  How am I supposed to be able to start a family if we can't provide for one?  How can I move closer to my family for the emotional support I desperately need if we can't afford to move?

I'm a complete emotional wreck, and I'm sick of it.  Someone wake me up from this nightmare and tell me everything is going to work itself out soon.  It is so hard to continue to go on when there seems to be no reason for me to exist and absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel.  And this wasn't even a bad day.

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